God is

Recently, I broke up with my boyfriend. The thing is, I knew it needed to be done. A lot was not right in the relationship, and every day I felt it weighing on my heart more and more and more that I needed to fix it. I thought it'd be so hard, and that I would be devastated.

But I'm not.

I'm at peace.

It was so cool to be able to praise God's name right away after something like that, because usually when I am down, I'll cry and vent to a friend, but I ran to God and prayed immediately afterwards, and I am okay. The Lord brings peace and joy, even during hard times. He knows how to bring the good out of all circumstances.

God is good.

Todayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy.

Today it is May 31st, 2010.

Wholly cow.

I still can't believe I've already completed my sophomore year of high school.

It's pretty cool, not going to lie.

Right now, it is 9:20 p.m. on a Monday night.

I'm still finishing up some packing for Europe--I leave for a 9 day European excursion on Thursday--and making sure I am prepared since this is my first time internationally travelling alone.

Currently, I'm watching The Chronicles of Narnia: Prince Caspian....this movie is super intense. All the battles, talking animals, castles...I'm like so into it.

So today, I went to the mall. Well, two different malls. Anyways. I went and got some different things I needed for Europe up in Hawthorne, then headed down to Gurnee and bought some marvelous purple flip flops from Old Navy. Seriously, they've got the best and sturdiest flip flops ever. Anyways, then I headed to Gurnee Mills and spent a lot of time in Forever 21, as usual. I am proud to say, I bought my very first ever pair of "rompers" today. Floral, of course. And, to accompany this outfit, I had to buy a pearl headband. Then, I bought another pair of jeans for Europe.

Tommorow my boyfriend, Jon, is taking me out to dinner. No idea where or what time. But I'm all for it, considering he's been in the city for four days. I haven't really told you about Jon, have I?

Where to start. Well we've only been dating since May 15th, but I like him a lot. He's really sweet and super laid-back, which is nice because I'm pretty laid-back usually too. He likes theater, which is good because I LOVE theater. He's pretty outgoing and easy to talk to, you just have to give him a chance. He likes swimming and he really likes kayaking too, in fact, Thursday afternoon he took me kayaking with our friend Brett. He enjoys hockey, which is funny because I grew up with hockey, cause my brother played it for like YEARS. He also loves Jeeps and horses, which is also funny because I want a Jeep for my first car and I grew up with horses. Even better, his favorite food is fettucine alfredo and ironically I make a BEAST fettucine alfredo.

Anyways, I'm tired of typing and facebook chat is calling my name...

Love,

Kristen.

It's the end of school. Tomorrow is my last day as a sophomore. In the fall, my life will be completely changed. I will be an upperclassman. I will be the example for the youngsters. It's been a fun ride this year. Sophomore year is the greatest. I've had my ups. My downs. But who hasn't? Life's a roller coaster, right?

It's always bittersweet to end a great school year. But it just makes you want to make the next year even better.

Next week I'm going to Europe too.

Hope I can experience some pretty amazing things there.

Anyways. I don't really know what to say.

I'm at a loss of words, for once in my life.

Actually...Dear Self,

If you get married and have children, specifically a daughter, worry about her and care for her...but most importantly, trust her, and trust that you have raised her with enough sensibility and smarts to handle herself.

May 17th...

Do you ever just kinda wonder why people who have hurt you decide to try and get their say in whatever you are doing in your life that they don't approve of? I honestly don't understand why they care so much, I mean, it's like, you've hurt me before, so why do you give a care what choices I decide to make?

Ah..

Today was a great...

For a while.

It's just frustrating when people have the ability to just say one little thing and just ruin your good day. I don't understand how we give people such authority over our emotions, like its just like...why do people do that? Why don't we give the control over how we feel to God instead?

I don't know.

I am worrying.

Worrying about the future.

Thinking about things from all different points of views.

I am considering so many things recently.

Its like, I bet this could have happened it that didn't happen. or like, If I wasn't doing this with my life, maybe I'd do that. or also, what if I am really not good enough?

Lately I've been thinking a lot about switching schools. Don't get me wrong, I LOVE my school so much, and it has changed me a lot...it's just..I really want to do theatre..like...that is my life. That's what I would like to pursue in the future...and I hate to say it, but sometimes I feel like you get parts in plays or musicals or places on the sports teams based on what you MAKE of yourself at the school. Like its about politics kinda. I wanna go to public school, to see how good I really am...and if I am able to go to a different school and get a main part and also, I'd like to be able to try and be a light somewhere, and to share the joy God has given me, with other people. I just wish I could go to both schools at once.

I just don't know what to do anymore.

Agh.

Rough day...

Currently, I am reading the Diary of Anne Frank for a book report. I have come to the realization that I am so blessed and so lucky. When I read about what people had to go through during World War 2, it makes me think "wow, I have got it good. And I never realize it". Just a thought to share....don't forget how you've been blessed today....

"These Are a Few of My Favorite Quotes"

"Glorify the Lord with me; let us exalt His name together. I sought the Lord, and He answered me; He delivered me from ALL my fears. Those who look to Him are radiant ; their faces are never covered with shame."

-Psalm 34:3-5

"I love people who make me laugh. I honestly think it's the thing I like most, to laugh. It cures a multitude of ills. It's probably the most important thing in a person." -Audrey Hepburn

"When I was a child I had a crush on Abraham Lincoln. Why I would choose to reveal this, I know not." -Julia Roberts

"My brothers and sisters, consider it nothing but JOY when you fall into all sorts of trials, because you know that the testing of your FAITH produces endurance"

-James 1:2-3

"Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid."

-John 14:27

"My mouth will speak in praise of the LORD. Let every creature praise HIS holy name forever and ever."

-Psalm 145:21

"Now faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see."

-Hebrews 11:1

“I was born with an enormous need for affection, and a terrible need to give it.”

-Audrey Hepburn

"We were given: Two hands to hold. To legs to walk. Two eyes to see. Two ears to listen. But why only one heart? Because the other was given to someone else. For us to find."

“For beautiful eyes, look for the good in others; for beautiful lips, speak only words of kindness; and for poise, walk with the knowledge that you are never alone.”

-Audrey Hepburn

"Nothing is impossible, the word itself says 'I'm possible!' "

-Audrey Hepburn

"A day without a laugh is a wasted day." - Charlie Chaplin.

"Happy girls are the prettiest"

-Audrey Hepburn

In Christ Alone.

Jesus is so good.

Not only have we been blessed with AWESOME weather,

but God has been so GOOD to me lately.

Honestly,

I couldn't have asked for anything better to happen this weekend.

I had solo and ensemble, and I have been sick for the past few weeks, but by God's grace, I managed to sing two solos (one Italian and one musical theater piece) and got 1* to go to state for BOTH! I couldn't have done it without you Jesus. I was so surprised that my voice pulled through, but I guess I should have remembered how GREAT and merciful God is.

Also,

I got nominated to go to a program in New York..and work on the Broadway stage with Tony award winning directors and casts.

Opportunity of a life time.

awesome.

Jesus.

Thank you for working in me.

God,

continue to change my heart and mold me into a woman of God!

Silly little girl

Why do I feel like I need to have some kind of a guy in my life to make me feel like I have some kind of value in the world? Indont understand myself. Why am I so naive? So foolish? I mean, I have all I need right now, God. And I should realize that He will provide. And I don't need a replacement to mend my heart. By letting guys in, I am letting pieces of my heart float away. I want all of my heart to be able to go to God, not just a few of the pieces. So, I have decided I am done. I am going to stop trying to replace the pieces j have given away with temporary flings or crushes, because that just results in the losing of more of my heart and myself. If I continue this bad habit, what will I give when all of my heart is gone? Scary thought. Plus, I am just hurting myself over and over. God, give me wisdom. give me stregnth. Give me hope..

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

Chapel

Today, for me, started out with a few complications. I fell asleep early last night, while doing my homework, and so I didn't finish it before school. And then my Abuelita in Colombia called long-distance because she wanted to ask my mom questions before getting interviewed for her Visa. Then, we got another call from my "cousin", whom I adore, Cotta who has a phone that is registered on our AT&T plan and she said someone stole her phone, so we had to fix that. All of this led to me being late for school.

But it is amazing how Satan tries to bring bad things into our lives to thwart God's amazing plans for that day. See, by God I was able to finish all my homework on time, and I was able to get to school with an excused tardy.

Then Satan tried to attempt to attack one more time, trying to bring mean/harsh thoughts into my heart, but I ignored him because I knew it wasn't God's voice talking to me.

And so, after being strengthened through God, I was able to open up my heart and let Him in during chapel.

God is SO good to me.

I had the desire to humble myself before Him.

To let Him rule over all of my actions.

I wanted to let GOD know that I love Him so much and I am SO grateful for His beautiful and precious Son. And that I want to live a life of PURPOSE for HIM. No one else is for me. Just God. I want God in my life. I want to satisfy God's desire to be with me. I want to let HIM lead my life with entirety.

.

I was just thinking about how beauty comes in so many ways.

It can be your hair.

It can be your wit.

It can be your religion.

It can be your eyes.

It can be your kindness.

It can be in your passion.

But when I think of beauty I think of Christ's love for us.

How beautiful was that cross.

Where His blood was shed for sinners and all sinners to come.

He saved us.

When I think of the way He loves us,

I cannot imagine anything more beautiful.

And when I think of the way He thinks of us,

as beautiful creations and how He considered us worthy of forgiveness and salvation.

That is true beauty.

Don't forget John 3:16.

It's crucial.

Tacos and Jesus

So Today I read the COOLEST quote on facebook by one friend to another.

It read:

"I decided I officially know what Jesus is. He is the shell to my taco; without Him my life falls apart & can't stay together"

--Hannah Yonke

Temptations

It is crazy HOW MUCH Satan is always trying to make us fall into his plot.

He's always tempting you.

Testing your weaknesses,

It is absolutely insane.

I've realized that you always have to be on guard , especially with the people around you, because Satan is always tempting them too, and when they fall in, you have to be the example. You have to be the strong one who is going to follow GOD's plan, not the devil's.

God will help you.

You have to open your heart, and be AWARE of your surroundings.

You have to ignore the little voice that tempts you, and listen to the Holy Spirit's voice that will provide guidance for you.

Hard work--Yes, it is easier said than done, but once you have done it once, the next time it will become easier for you to recognize God's voice.

He is always there, talking to you, it's just a matter of you listening and responding and OBEYING.

The Lord Reigns.

My school is so blessed.

I take for granted how lucky I am to go to a school where I can praise my God freely, where I can go to teachers and ask them to pray with me, where I can share how God has been working in my life, and where I can see God changing people dramatically.

God is flowing through my school.

We are learning to accept His plans for us. Learning to rejoice in the fact that He has saved us. Learning to listen to His voice and callings.

I have learned to PRAISE Him with all of my heart. To let down the walls of hurt or anger or distraction and allow Him to come into my heart and make me NEW. To make me into the woman that He desires me to be.

I am proud to say I LIVE FOR GOD.

I was made to praise.

I was made for love.

I was made to honor Him.

I'm only here BECAUSE of Him.

Without Him, I am worthless.

God made me to live for Him and do His work.

I am just so excited by what's going on at CLS. God is changing my school for the better. People are coming together to praise Him: teachers, administration, staff, students, and even visitors.

Sorry Satan, you lose.

As for me and my SCHOOL, we will serve the Lord.

Sick Day

So today I was sick from school.

My nose is being obnoxious and itches and is runny.

So. Gross.

I really don't enjoy being sick, I like to always be on the go.

Tomorrow, I think I am going to school... I miss it. I also don't enjoy the crazy makeup work.

Then, I have rehearsal after school for West Side Story, which I always look forward to.

I might have early morning choir rehearsal, which would be a bummer, since I can't sing this week anyways.

My voice is pretty shot.

But, God has got it planned.

So, I am watching "How Do I Look?" and it makes me want to go to Forever 21 on a nice little spree.

My dog, Bentley, is my only company today.

He has been such an angel: Getting into my pencil case and chewing all my pens, going "potty" in the living room, barking nonstop, and chewing up my piano cover.

But, I love him anyways.

I am so boreddddddddddddddddddddddddd.

AGH.

lol

Well, I must go take the dog out,

Talk to you soon,

With Love,

Kristen.

Bucket List (in no specific order)

Just so that you feel like you know a little more about me, and I'm not just

some crazy blogger, I copy/pasted this off my facebook.

*Graduate from Juilliard.
*Go Skydiving [and most likely pee my pants while doing it]
*Go Deep sea scuba diving
*Go on a Hot air balloon ride

*Ride down a nice big hill in a wheel-chair
*Perform on Broadway
*Be a missionary in Africa for a LEAST six months.
*Perform in Italy
*Play "house" in Ikea
*Sing the national anthem at some kind of national sports event
*Roadtrip across the U.S.
*Have a Iphone/Itouch lightsaber war that involves twenty people
*Take someone off the street and buy them clothes and food and help them get on their feet again.
*Ride in a firetruck.
*Be in a Nicolas Sparks book-Movie.
*Build a clubhouse.
*Own a box of all the Crayola crayon colors ever made
*Create a new scent for Bath and Body works
*Create a new Starbucks Frappucino
*Go to Nicaragua
*Learn to sail
*Sit within the pilot's area on a plane.
*Go to Egypt
*Go around to different places in Africa
*Travel around Europe
*Play the two Marias: Sound of Music and West Side Story (WOOHOO! one almost down)
*Sing in the Sydney Opera house.
*Get married to "the one"(not anytime soon. ahaha)
*Do a movie with Meryl Streep.
*Be a voice for a cartoon movie
*Bring as many people to Christ/Be a witness.
*Watch all the Star Wars in the NOT backwards order.
*Window-Clean a skyscraper
*Volunteer at a Nursing Home and just hang with the people.
*Invent something handy.
*Live in Spain for a year
*Campout before some kind of concert or event
*Have a get-together where all we do is play with playdough and eat pasta.
*Learn to drive a motorcycle
*Ride an ostrich/emu
*Learn to cook in France
*Host a fundraiser for a good cause
*Help make a mosaic
*Learn to make a pie.
*Learn to speak fluent French and Italian
*Tour the Grand Canyon
*Write a children's book
*Camp on the beach
MORE.TO.COME.